Srusti Sudha:

A woman’s silence is often misunderstood.

She may stay quiet when someone touches her without permission. She may freeze when the person is someone she knows. She may not know how to react when someone she trusted becomes the reason for her discomfort, unease, or fear.

Silence does not become acceptable simply because it comes from a familiar face. Being a relative, friend, partner, or even a spouse does not give anyone permission to touch another person whenever they want. Staying silent does not mean she agreed. Sometimes, a woman stays quiet or does not say “NO” because she is afraid, shocked, confused, or simply unable to speak in that moment.

I have experienced this discomfort myself, three times, from childhood into my teenage years, each time involving a familiar face. I know what it felt like to be touched without my permission, simply because I was young and not brave enough to stop it. I think I was scared, and perhaps that fear gave them the courage to do what they did.

That experience left a wound. It made me question and doubt everyone around me, whether it was someone touching me while talking or simply reaching out to shake my hand. I told my mother about two of those incidents, and she took action. But one still gives me chills: the thought that someone my own age could do that.

Those experiences distracted me from my studies. Even today, I feel uncomfortable when a stranger’s hand accidentally brushes mine. I dare to speak up now, but underneath it, I still carry that fear and tend to overthink such situations.

Those experiences also shaped how I respond when someone tells me what they’ve been through. Listening to it often brings my own feelings back, and sometimes I feel helpless, even disgusted, not at the survivor, but at how often the person harmed is questioned instead of the person who caused the harm.

People need to understand each other’s boundaries and not cross them without permission. Talking to someone, spending time with them, or being friendly toward them is not a “YES,” and it never gives anyone the right to do whatever they want.

Being friendly is not permission. Knowing someone is not permission. A relationship is not permission. Silence is not permission.

Some people blame upbringing when something like this happens. I think it runs deeper than that. It’s about the values and respect we teach our children. We should teach sons and daughters alike that “NO” means “NO,” and that respecting another person’s decision is not optional.

As a teacher, I now teach children about good touch and bad touch, regardless of gender, something few of us were taught growing up. But incidents still happen, which makes me wonder: are we doing enough? Every woman deserves to feel safe enough to be independent, and experiences like these can quietly take that courage away.

Affection should never be forced. A person’s discomfort matters.

Her Silence Is Not Her Yes
A woman’s silence may say many things.
She may be afraid.
She may be confused.
She may be shocked.
She may simply be unable to speak.
But no one should ever force her silence to say “YES.”
Silence is not consent.
Not saying “NO” does not mean saying “YES.”
And an unwanted touch does not become acceptable simply because it comes from someone familiar.

We need to teach our children that consent must be clear and willing —
and that another person’s silence should never be used as permission.